right back at the beginning of the pandemic, we moved house. i returned the keys of our old house on the day the goverment declared lock down. we’d moved from a small village to a bigger town 20 minutes away, so that we could become more part of a community. i was travelling there with alba a few times a week on the bus, we wanted jasper to be able to get out by himself. i remember listening to the radio late at night, as i drove back alone in the car we’d borrowed to move with, from dropping the keys off, and feeling like it was all over. the things we had moved for - toddler groups, teen meet ups, making new friends, all evaporated in a few seconds.
over the next few weeks as it all started to settle, i kept coming back to this phrase, ‘stay soft, stay open’. it felt so important in the midst of so much fear and unknowing. if i could stay soft and open, i could enjoy unpacking in our new home, i could enjoy the view from our attic window, i could enjoy eating ice cream with my then two year old in the garden. if i could stay open and not tighten up, things would be easier.
i repeated it over to myself, again and again. stay soft, stay open. stay soft, stay open. stay soft, stay open.
stay soft.
stay open.
.
two years later, and it’s still a phrase i come back to again and again, a repeated theme in all of my work. it is such a gift of a phrase to work with, both aesthetically and spiritually. at first, i just didn’t want to be tight and anxious around all the covid stuff, but my understanding of it has deepened and continues to do so as i make more work based around it. maybe it’s even become my own personal muse. it weaves through so much. making my own clothes helps me stay soft. meditating helps me stay open. the words are a comfort when i’m nervous or anxious.
my most recent project has been sewing the phrase ‘stay open’ on the back of my denim jacket. i wanted to both carry the reminder with me, and also offer it to others. i’ve also been feeling a bit closed down in the last few months, so felt that revisiting these words would be helpful. on the yellow patch below it, very faded now, is the phrase ‘was and is’, which, though i don’t have the words to explain it, somehow accentuates the reminder for me. something mythic in it all speaks deeply to me of the timelessness of just trying to stay open in each moment, was and is become the same, and transcendence is possible.
i recently gave a talk at the buddhafield festival, called creativity and the seeds of loving kindness. it was a nerve wracking but beautiful experience, and i was so glad for the chance to share a little of my practice. i’d love to hear any feedback people have about what struck you, or how you practice with creativity in your own life.
creativity and loving kindness
also! i am running a retreat, called meditating and making, alongside my friend viriyanaya, at her place in wales. we will be exploring the connection between creative practice and spiritual practice. what this will mean in practice is still forming but i’m so excited about it! here is the link for more info and to book if you feel moved.
now it’s almost post festival/event season, i am planning to get back to more regular writing, as well as getting into, dare i say it, christmas prep! i just dropped off some drawstring bags i made with naturally dyed fabrics off at my local arts shop, and am getting excited to reorganize my studio space - i’ve moved rooms in my house, so it’s a chance to revision how i work.
i’ve got some space this winter for some commissions i think - so get in touch if you’d like to create something special together.