hello and greetings from my little attic desk in devon,
today is the first day of spring! as well as a newsletter in your inbox, you can also check out my updated etsy shop here. from now on i’ll be posting these newsletter to you every full and new moon, and my shop will be updated every full moon (with a bit of leeway either side to give space for unexpected changes). this rhythm gives me a bit more spaciousness to write and reflect on what to share, and to manage my time and making around working a job and having a family life.
last letter i said i would write a bit more about the big project i hope to be working on for the next couple of years. it’s based on exploring the 5 buddha mandala, through my art practice, using the book ‘a guide to the buddhas’ by vessantra, aloka’s depiction of the mandala (shown below), natural dyes and textiles. my plan is to spend 3 months with each buddha, reflecting on them, learning about them, making colour from natural dyes, and making art pieces and clothing that reflects my explorations.
the 5 buddha mandala is deeply symbolic, containing buddha figures that represent various qualities to work with, different perspectives on practice and tools that can be used to progress on the path. it connects to the realm of archetypes and the mythic. each buddha is associated with a direction, an element, an animal, particular qualities and wisdoms and have their own origin stories. for me, engaging with it feels like looking at a map, that i can overlay my own experiences onto. i can focus on one part of my diverse experiences through looking at a specific buddha, it gives a supportive framework to look at myself with and what i’m working on. it helps frame my experience with a mythic context, gives inspiration, and helps my practice come more alive. i’ve been wanting to practice more deeply, and create more intentionally recently, and wanted a container to hold that, that would inspire and give me direction and focus, for a long time.
my plan is to spend 3 months focusing on each buddha, learning about them, reflecting on them, making a deeper connection with each figure and using their qualities and associated elements, animals and so on, to give shape to my practice and making. at the end i’ll spend 3 months being with and integrating the whole mandala. i plan to focus on making the colour of each buddha from natural dyes, making some clothes dedicated to each buddha, as well as some minizines, wall hangings and art pieces. i’m also starting to vision a big piece where it all comes together, maybe made gradually over the 18 months.
i’m nearly at the end of the first three months, and i feel like i’m just starting to get to grips with the scope of the project and what i want to do with it, so maybe once i’ve been round all the buddhas i will just start again and go even deeper! i can also see that the move from one buddha to the next will be more of a process of them blending into each other. i’m already feeling part of me move towards amitabha, the red buddha, while still having things i want to explore with ratnasambhava.
i started this at the beginning of the year, with ratnasambhava, who has been present for me for a long time, and is the buddha i connect most with in the mandala. he is the yellow buddha of the south, whose time is the blazing sun of midday. in one hand he holds the wish fulfilling jewel, and his other hand is open in the varada mudra, the gesture of supreme giving. the qualities that he embodies are abundance, creativity and positive energy, while his element is that of earth.
ratnasambhava is easy to connect with for me, and also, i have such a lot to learn from him. i value creative energy so much, find a lot of worth in the time i spend making, and yet also have such a scarcity mindset. i can get really tight and feel like there is never enough - time, space, money, anything. i often find it hard to connect with a sense of abundance. reflecting on that this past three months has been so good for me. instead of hoarding craft supplies, often scrolling to find the next ‘perfect’ project that will make me feel like a real artist, i’ve been looking at what i have and wanting to see it in use. i’ve been just making more, without worrying about the outcome and if it will be good enough or whether i will like it and feel like ‘wasted’ my supplies. i’ve felt a deeper sense of experimentation and confidence in my skillset. i’ve been trying to stop waiting for the perfect time to do things, and just do them. it’s been lovely. working on loosening that ‘what if it’s not good enough’ mindset has felt like a flowering, and opening up to really enjoying the process and being much more in the moment.
the type of wisdom that ratnasambhava brings is the wisdom of sameness, seeing deeply that everything is equally precious. i think i’ve gained some of this in my attitude to different parts of my creative practice, enjoying more of the stages, rather than thinking that one part is the best bit and the others are boring - for example, last letter i talked about really enjoying the preparation process of dyeing rather than rushing through it to get to the good bit. i’ve felt a sense of abundance in using things up until they’re gone - i keep all my ends of wool from projects i’ve done, and ages ago started a scrap blanket. i picked it up again this last week, really wanting to connect with all those past projects, most of which have been gifted. i wanted to make something to wrap myself up in, without it being about the look or aesthetic. i wanted to work on acceptance of the way things are, without the escape of buying something new. i wanted to connect with a sense of abundance, and i really did. i had a bag of really disparate yarns, some thicker, some thinner, and i’ve been steadily making little squares during mitra study, in the inbetween times, and adding them to this blanket. it’s actually really beautiful, and i’m really enjoying making it and seeing what emerges.
my etsy shop is updated! i’ve made quite variety of things recently and am feeling really excited about the possibilities. i’ve got some linen napkins that i thrifted, and then dyed with onion skins that would be beautiful shrine cloths. i did some experimentation with dyeing wood, and have made a few necklaces and one mala with them. i’ve also made a couple of mini skein bundles that i’m calling the daffodil skein set, they’ve got three shades of yellow from onion skins, and then 2 shades of green created by overdyeing the yellow with indigo.
t.i.l.l - things i loved lately
the wisdom in the mind knows that in her life my sister was a constant coming together and dispersing of conditions - this beautiful post by vajradevi about the death of her sister. i keep coming back to it, thinking about how we are all a set of conditions arising and passing away, how sometimes that can feel so hopeless and meaningless, and other times how it can feel so freeing and joyful.
monday monday is marlee grace’s weekly newsletter. i’ve followed them for a few years now - first listening to their great podcast ‘have company’ where they chatted with the artists who were doing residencies in their shop/residency program. more recently i’ve been engaging with their particular take on creative and spiritual practice and getting a lot from it. i really appreciate marlee’s dedication to exploration of self, and how deeply their creative practice feeds into that, and how they share and express themselves.
voice notes! oh i love them so much. i love hearing someone’s voice, their breath and background noises. i love sitting with my headphones on, listening to them in a quiet place. i love cooking while recording messages for loved ones, sharing the day to day, telling them how i’m doing my 4th load of washing up that day. voice notes feel so much more alive than texts, so much less pressured than phone calls, the best of all the worlds.
crochet blankets! i love looking at pictures of crochet blankets! been working away on my own, and snuggling under it. i have been reading this blog for years now, and love the rainbow aesthetic of the designs, and the down to earth attitude and love for the little things in life that the author, lucy, has.
i recently took instagram off my phone as i’m an addict, but last week put it back. here’s a list of 5 people i really rate on there: @whatlydiamade fat designer maker artist. love her aesthetic. @minimalistmachine process heavy sewer, shares loads of resources, love her perspective. @sophie_hines designer of beautiful inclusive ocean inspired underwear patterns, love her attitude. @know.your.cycle queer centered cycle knowledge, have had the privilege to been in a queer cycle group with them for the past year or so, and they are so great! love their take on bleeding as a non binary being. @_kathrynjohn also a friend, makes natural ink, runs workshops and is a generally all round deep feeling beautiful being.
thanks so much for reading this edition of sacred making. i’ve really enjoyed writing it! i hope it gives you something, i’m always happy to receive feedback and comments.
i hope you have a wonderful week, full of moments of joy and connection, understanding and being seen.
love ruth